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Morning wood: Thanks for nothing, UFL

Morning wood: Thanks for nothing, UFL

Posted by Toonces in Random poop on June 19, 2009 | 2 responses

Cheese and biscuits, it’s a slow day in the world of sports. Seriously, when rain is your lead story on the daily roundup, you know it’s a bad day to be a sports fan. So we’d like to thank the United Football League for screwing up what could have been a wet dream of publicity for the fledgling operation on Thursday.

(By the way, we find it curious that the league’s website is located at ufl-football.com. That would be United Football League Football if you’re scoring at home.)

Natalie Gulbis

Natalie Gulbis

Turns out the UFL allegedly had themselves a draft on Thursday. We say “allegedly” because the league provided no advance information to the media. Hell, the only reason we know about it is because profootballtalk.com found some cryptic posts from Tim Rattay on his Twitter page (we’d add the link, but seriously, do you really need to follow Tim Rattay’s tweets?).

So here’s what we know about the UFL thus far: 1) They might be willing to employ Ookie Vick; and 2) They prefer toiling in obscurity during the one time of the year when they’re GUARANTEED to get media play simply. To quote Adam Sandler on SNL, “who are the ad wizards who came up with this?”

We didn’t think it was possible for anyone to make us yearn for the halcyon days of He Hate Me, but the UFL may yet accomplish the feat. Elsewhere …

- The Onion weighs in on the real motivation behind Kobe Bryant’s championship run.

- Andy Roddick tweeted the crap out of ESPN on Thursday, blasting Bucolic Bristol on his Twitter page for naming journeyman Mario Ancic their sleeper for the Wimbledon men’s draw. The only problem? “(It) would be a great pick except for the fact that he has mono and hasn’t played for 3 months, and isn’t supposed to be ready for another month or two,” Roddick chirped. “Wow, I mean the guy is not even entered in the tournament.” Beautiful.

- We missed this story completely (which isn’t hard to do, considering it’s a women’s golf story), but apparently Natalie Gulbis failed to qualify for the U.S. Women’s Open. Our chances of watching this tournament just went from 0.2 percent to 0.0. (The Golf Blog)

- NFL suspends Donte Stallworth indefinitely, but yet another blogger seemingly shocked that wealthy people receive better treatment in our judicial system. Santa Claus and Easter Bunny unavailable for comment. (The Blog of Champions)

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2 Responses to “Morning wood: Thanks for nothing, UFL”

  1. The Goon Squad | My Sports Rumors says:
    June 19, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    [...] Steady Burn – Blogger Poll: What’s My Earliest Sports Memory? PSAMP – Yeah, There Are Steelers Fans In Iran Major League Jerk – Let’s Play the Steroid Speculation Game Sports Poop – Morning wood: Thanks for nothing, UFL [...]

  2. NB041UA says:
    February 13, 2010 at 6:17 am

    Hey, great post, really well written. You should write more about this. I’ll certainly be subscribing.

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