Morning wood: Memphis rassles with the NCAA
Top o’ the morning, poopers. It’s another day, and another chapter in the Southern-fried saga that is Memphis basketball vs. the NCAA.
Just days after the school released a report claiming they could find no evidence to support the NCAA’s allegations that former star Derrick Rose had a stand-in take his SAT for him, ESPN reported Friday that questions surrounding Robert Dozier’s test scores prompted the University of Georgia to deny him admission to the school. Dozier ended up at Memphis, where he helped lead the Tigers to the national title game in 2008.
The quality of the evidence (and reporting) swirling around this saga continues to stir debate. What cannot be debated, however, is the comedic quality of the quotes emanating from the hallowed halls of ol’ Memphis U. Our favorite quote Friday came courtesy of Memphis athletics director R.C. Johnson, who apparently did his post-graduate work in Advanced Redneck Linguistics. “”We still feel comfortable about what we’ve done and that we’ve done all the do-rights,” Johnson yodeled. “You don’t want any of that stuff happening, but I’m pretty comfortable we’ve done all the things we’re supposed to do. … I thought we dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s on that situation. I know nothing different today than I did then.”
Sigh. Some days this roundup practically writes itself.
But hey, this isn’t the first time Memphis’ standards have been called into question. We invite you to watch the video at the end of the roundup for a delightful trip down memory lane, courtesy of the late, great Andy Kaufman.
Moving on …
- If Urban Meyer exiled former Gator QB Shane Matthews for daring to question his brilliance, what do you think he’s going to do to CBS Sports columnist and UF alum Gregg Doyel after he reads this column?
- An exhaustive yet hilarious look back on the 1994 NBA Draft. Bonus points for noting Darrin Hancock’s War and Peace-like Wikipedia page. (ShamSports.com)
- Congresswomen Corrine Brown and Maxine Waters trade barbs to determine a) who’s the bigger bandwagon-jumper; and b) who’s the bigger idiot. (Friends of the Program)
- This just in from the desk of former NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol: That Tiger Woods guy is kind of a big deal. Also, we’ve landed on the moon. (Newsday, complete with 1970s mugshot)
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