Keep your Affliction t-shirt, we’ll take women’s tennis
There’s a festering pimple on the ass of sports media these days, and no, we’re not talking about Favrewatch 2.0, or Sid/LeBron handshake snubs. We’re talking about Mixed Martial Arts.
Mind you, we have no problem with the sport itself. The problem lies in the 180-degree turn that traditional media-types have taken toward the sport of late. For years, the old ink-stained newspaper wretches wagged their fingers at MMA and issued ill-informed diatribes about “human cockfighting” and the like.
Simona Halep & Co.
But then a curious thing happened. Just about the same time that media revenue began to plummet, producers, editors and execs made a stunning discovery … people *gulp* actually like *zoinks* Mixed Martial Arts. UFC ratings were through the roof. “Rampage” Jackson became more famous than Tito Jackson. Tito Ortiz became relevant enough to bang a porn star. And that was all it took for MMA to become the new darling of the sports media.
The only problem? Well, as usual, it’s entirely possible that MMA had already jumped the shark before ESPN even figured out what it was. First we had UFC president Dana White deliver a potty-mouthed rant against a female reporter on his video blog. Then, in an attempt to boost sagging ratings for UFC’s “The Ultimate Fighter”, White signs sideshow act Kimbo Slice just months after eloquently stating in an interview that “Kimbo Slice sucks.” And then finally, last weekend, boxer-turned-fattie Ray Mercer annihilates Affliction poster child Tim Sylvia in 10 seconds (video below).
To be fair, MMA in general and UFC in particular certainly have the potential to rebound from these recent embarrassments. All we’re saying is that all the recent MMA hullabaloo is severely overshadowing what’s happening in the world of women’s professional tennis, which is an abomination against all that makes life worth living.
Where else can you find a sport where fans create Facebook pages to plead for a player not to get breast reduction surgery?
Where else can you find a sport where the hot topic of debate centers around the volume of grunting? (For the record, we here at sportspoop.com have a long and proud history of being pro-grunt.)
Look, it boils down to one simple question. Would you rather watch two sweaty, tatted-up men kick the crap out of each other in a cage, or would you rather watch two sweaty women battle it out to see who can grunt louder?
The defense rests.
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