As a rule, your humble Sportspoop staff rarely offers shout-outs to athletes without breasts … that’s just how we roll. But it’s high time we professed our man-love for Apolo Anton Ohno. The speed skater won his seventh career medal Saturday at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, making him...

Top o’ the morning, poopers! Hope you’re having a better Friday than the U.S. Olympic curling teams, who are staring down the barrel of a combined 0-7 record in Vancouver. The bad news? Arch-curling-nemesis Canada remains unbeaten in both the men’s and women’s draws. The good...

Residents of Whistler, British Columbia, and 2010 Winter Olympic visitors alike are up in arms due to increased police presence in the small city. Whistler, which was once was a safe haven for those who wished to smoke cannabis in public, more than doubled its police force of 30 in preparation for the...

Holy hockeyballs, media people. Enough with the contrived outrage over the weekend’s Olympic arse-whoopings in women’s ice hockey. If you haven’t heard by now, Canada opened tournament play in Vancouver by throttling Slovakia 18-0 on Saturday, and the U.S. followed suit with a similar...

If you’ve read our posts before, you know we usually look for humor in the world of sports. But we also reserve the right to point to the stupid. (Believe us, we know every aspect of stupidity at Sportspoop.com … just ask our significant others.) The ignorance that oozed from the 2010 Winter...

So check this out, apparently the PGA Tour decided to actually go ahead and host events this year — even without Tiger Woods. Can you believe that shit? Now this is just awkward. We had no idea these things were even going on, and turns out they’ve already had like like SIX of them. No, really....

U.S. Ski Team coaches sat on pins and needles Thursday morning awaiting Lindsey Vonn’s training run on her bruised and swollen right shin as men across America focused on Head. While the news of Vonn’s downhill exercise at the 2010 Winter Games facility could boost U.S. team optimism throughout Whistler,...

In a statement that we’re guessing wasn’t meant to be anywhere near as alluring as it sounds, American ski hopeful and SI cover girl Lindsey Vonn posted the comment below on her Twitter feed a couple hours ago. As you probably know, a shin injury has placed Vonn’s Olympic medal hopes...

First things first, we want to make one thing clear right from the get-go today: This Chris Berman-to-NFL Network story is, in all likelihood, a big stinkin’ pile of horse apples. There, we said it. As excited as everyone seems to be about the possibility of America’s favorite blowhard taking...

So the conference championship games are set in the NFL, although we have to say we’re a little underwhelmed by the whole thing thus far. Maybe it’s the fact most of the playoff games have been ass-pounding affairs thus far, or the fact that the league lost its ninth player since 2007. R.I.P.,...

It’s been a landmark year for Serena Williams. In January, tennis’ big-boned diva took advantage of a heaping helping of Australian hospitality to rally past Svetlana Kuznetsova in the Aussie Open quarterfinals en route to her 10th grand slam title. Then, just five months later, she made...

Oh, how we’ve missed you, Emmitt. NFL Hall-of-Famer, “Dancing With the Stars” alumnus and hair-dye salesman Emmitt Smith – who butchered the English language for two years as part of ESPN’s stellar NFL commentary crew – has returned to public life with a fresh smock...

The woman pictured below is named Erika Prezerakou, and allegedly she’s a pole vaulter for the Greek National Team. We say “allegedly” because every time we try to read actual words about Ms. Prezerakou, our eyes drift back to the photos and we completely forget what we were reading...

Historians no doubt will determine the exact date that the WNBA officially died, but we’re laying even odds that Friday, Aug. 28, 2009 will be high on the list of possibilities. That’s because Friday was the day we learned that the WNBA Playoffs have been upstaged by Elmo, Big Bird and Oscar...

So here’s a simple question for new ESPN ombudsman Don Ohlmeyer that crossed my mind while subjecting myself to 30 seconds of a recent “Mike and Mike in the Morning” radio show: Why is it that, as a casual viewer of the Four-Letter Word’s pantheon of networks, I can name the favorite...

As a recovering sports writer/editor who spent way, way, way too many years toiling in the ink-stained wretchedness of the newspaper industry, I now feel it’s my duty to let sports fans in on the dirty little secret of sports journalism. Ready? Here it is: Most sports journalists don’t give...

South African teen track sensation Caster Semenya manhandled the 800-meter women’s field to win the gold medal Wednesday at the world championships. The only problem? Well, no one seems quite sure what Semenya is. We know he/she’s fast. He/she burst on to the scene three weeks ago at the...

Louisville coach Rick Pitino stepped up to a row of microphones on Wednesday afternoon and tried his best to quell the storm that arose after the Louisville (Ky.) Courier-Journal reported a day earlier that he had sex with Karen Cunagin Sypher in a local restaurant six years earlier, and later gave her...

We were thoroughly tickled recently when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced plans to bring their creamsicle uniforms out of mothballs for their home game against Green Bay on Nov. 8. It got us thinking about what other hideously bad uniforms we’d like to see recommissioned into active duty. Here’s...

There are five things we know about this weekend: 1) “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” is opening in theaters. 2) In all likelihood, it’s going to make a big ol’ pile of money. 3) In all likelihood, it’s going to be a big ol’ pile of crap. 4) We’ll probably end up...