About

Congratulations. You’ve discovered the internet’s most disturbing sports site.

We’re not gonna lie, today just might be the most important day of your life. Like your wedding day, or your first day out of methadone treatment. It’s a proud moment in the annals of sport. Hell, it’s the type of day that makes you proud to be a member of the human race. Ranking alongside such momentous occasions as Cal Ripken’s first game in the Orioles lineup or Terrell Owens’ first sit-up in the driveway, we proudly unveil the virtual fruit of our loins, Sportspoop.com.

scarlett and the johanssons

Literally tens of minutes have gone into the development and research of this site, and we’re confident that after just a few visits you’ll find yourself to be a loyal and dedicated Pooper.

So what exactly is Sportspoop.com? Quite simply, it’s everything that we’ve always yearned for in a sports website, only with more humor and gratuitous cleavage photos (thank you, Scarlett). Having spent years toiling in the wretchedness of the newspaper industry, your friendly neighborhood Sportspoop editors offer two simple goals for this website:

1) To offer the bare minimum in journalistic integrity.

2) To offer the bare minimum in redeeming social value.

In other words, if you like your sports news dry and pompous, go here. If you prefer 24-hour promotional machines disguised as “news” divisions, go here. If, on the other hand, you want to laugh a little, learn a (very) little, cry a lot, and talk smack with your sports brethren, stick around. It might be fun. At the very least, it’ll be interesting.

Oh, and since we’re making this up as we go along, we invite you to share your thoughts, ideas, questions, hopes, dreams, favorite pick-up lines and home improvement tips anytime at youguyssuck@sportspoop.com. And keep the e-mails clean, our moms are monitoring our online time.

Huzzah!